Dear Jewish People,
Well spring’s just about here! What a great day it is—unless of course you’re in Gaza! There I expect people are too busy caring for the injured and mourning the dead to notice much about the weather. Which kind of brings me to what I wanted to talk to you about today, Jewish people. Why, O why, can’t you do something nice for the Palestinians rather than bombin’ and killin’em all the time? Instead of raining death down out of the sky, why don’t you try raining kindness instead?
Give some thought to this. Try buildin’ the Palestinians some schools or hospitals, or you could maybe issue a few building permits so they could build homes or open businesses. You might even go so far as to provide educational opportunities for low-income Palestinian youths so they could attend universities, or maybe fix it so’s Palestinian farmers could work their fields without getting shot at or having to worry about hooligan settlers destroying their crops. Or here’s an idea—how about a public transit system linking Gaza and the West Bank, where Palestinians living in one area could visit their families in the other? What I’m getting at here is, after stealing their land and drivin’em from their homes, you’d think your tribal cousins in Israel might want to actually do something to help the Palestinians for a change. I mean, that’s only natural. When you’ve caused harm to someone, the natural, instinctive human response is to want to negate it in some way if possible, to reply with compassion, you know? To sort of help make amends. That’s the urge most normal people would have. But then again, maybe the leaders of that state of yours in the Middle East aren’t normal.
At any rate, instead of schools, hospitals and freedom to raise their families and pursue their livelihoods, all Palestinians ever seem to get from Israelis are bombs, bullets, and missiles. In other words, what’s guaranteed in the US Constitution—life liberty and pursuit of happiness—is precisely what you’re denying to the Palestinians. All of which is starting to make some of us goyim here in America wonder whether there might not be something seriously, seriously amiss with this “Jewish state” of yours in the Middle East. But of course—any of us ever raise any of these issues, we get called “anti-Semites.” Which is another thing I wanted to bring up with you today, Jewish people, is this word “anti-Semitism”—does anybody even know what it means anymore? If I’m not a-liking to see people killed from airplanes, or see children shot on their way to school, or if I think it’s kinda senseless to bulldoze homes that folks need to live in, does that make me an “anti-Semite”? And if it does, then when I get called one, shouldn’t I actually regard it as a compliment rather than an insult? And if so, wouldn’t I be justified in standing shoulder to shoulder with all the other “anti-Semites” in the world who’ve opposed these things? Whaddaya think about that, Jewish people?
Here’s something someone said recently that kind of sums it all up in a nutshell: “An ‘anti-Semite’ used to be someone who hates Jews; now it’s someone who Jews hate.” Lord! That’s a bit o’ truth-tellin’ there! That’s Babe Ruth knockin’ one outta the ballpark!!! Now here’s a question for ya: what is it that seems to arouse Jewish hatred more than anything else? Got any ideas? Why…the simple act of standing up and speaking the truth. Now I know, Jewish people, you’ll deny that. You’ll say, ‘Why who could possibly object to someone simply telling the truth about something or someone?’ But consider that Gillard Atzmon feller we keep hearing so much about these days. All he did is write a book stating a few simple, basic truths, and all of a sudden we get Jewish folk—practically all over the world, seems like—stomping, screaming, callin’ him an anti-Semite and so on and so forth. And all just for writin’ a book!!!!!!
All of which brings me to one final point—and this is what I really wanted to discuss with you today: it seems like there is something—something embedded deep within the Jewish psyche—that hates, loathes, and fears the truth. So my question for you is: what is that “something” in you that cowers from the truth…and what pray tell exactly is the truth that it fears? I doubt there’s a lot of you who even know the answer to that. I mean, it’s kinda like what them psychologist fellers (and ladies) refer to as “cognitive dissonance.” Ya know? But hey—I want you to be aware of something, Jewish people. I’m here for you! You can count on me! And to try and help you sort through it all, I’ve devised the following:
Top 20 Contenders for the ‘Most
Uncomfortable Truths’ awards!
Uncomfortable Truths’ awards!
Okay, here we go!
1. Not all Jewish people are lovable, kind and adorable.
2. A lot of the criminals on Wall St. are Jews.
3. The notion that “Gentiles are donkeys” is not backed up by scientific fact.
4. On the other hand, the sounds “Oyyy”—made by Jews—and “Oinnnk”—made by pigs—possess certain observable, quantifiable phonetic similarities.
5. But don’t get offended!!!!—because if you click here you can read how pigs are among the most intelligent creatures in the animal kingdom!
6. The saying that “Jews own the media” is based on realistic evaluation and cannot be dismissed as “anti-Semitic canard.”
7. The same media—controlled in large part by Jews—are inclined to fib a bit now and then.
8. The Jews of yesteryear who wrote the Old Testament may not have been any more truthful than the Jews of today who own the media.
9. No archaeological evidence has been found to suggest that the Temple of Solomon ever existed.
10. Little evidence exists to show that the 10th century BC kingdom of David was anywhere near what it’s cracked up to be in the Bible.
11. Your messiah already came and you killed him.
12. Most Jews are Khazars and not really Jews.
13. Jewish humor is not really all that funny.
14. Jewish “cuisine” is inferior to Chinese food.
15. Egg rolls are far tastier than “Haman’s ears.”
16. The reason so many Jews have stampeded up to claim Nobel prizes in the land of the midnight sun might be because Jews are disproportionately overrepresented on the Nobel Committee (which might explain a lot of other weird things about who gets Nobel prizes and who doesn’t).
17. The “facts” surrounding the Holocaust might bear reexamining.
18. A Jewish fingernail is not worth the lives of one million Palestinian children.
19. Black hats and sidecurls look kind of dorky.
20. The leaders of Israel make hissing snakes look benevolent.
Now here’s your assignment. Look over the above list. Consider each item carefully. And as you do, try and figure out which one would be the hardest for you to have to come to terms with were you suddenly to find yourself forced to do so. It’s an exercise that well might tell ya a lot about what your inner hang-ups are. And I’m providin’ it to you free of charge and hopin’ you can get some good out of it!
Well that’s about it for today, Jewish people! We’ll talk at’cha again real soon!
Buddy the Goy